FREEEEEDOOOOMMMMM!!!

Okay. Well, just a few days into my 365 day commitment, I missed two days.

But I had a GREAT weekend!

I don't know exactly where Saturday morning went, but I spent most of it reading, which always makes me happy.

Saturday afternoon my husband, one of my boys, and I went to work. My husband has a painting business and I recently started working with him full time. Normally, we do not do outside paint jobs, but sometimes you gotta take what's there! (Rent, Tuition, Bills....being what they are.) Well, Saturday was a beautiful day to be outside and instead of writing my blog in my head while I worked, I listened to my Mat Kearney station on Pandora Radio. (And I discovered Matt Nathanson!)

So with my headphones on, I set to work doing something perfectly suited for my slightly OCD tendencies, I spent the afternoon caulking a million nail holes. The weather was perfect — it was a great day to be outside. As usual, we pushed the envelope and worked much later than we should have considering we had someplace to go Saturday night! Our daughter was performing in Playhouse Theater's 24 Hour Play Competition.

We finally rushed home and cleaned up as quickly as we could, and sheer craziness ensued on the car ride to pick up our friends who were joining us. We enjoy laughing together as a family and I think that is almost all we did Saturday night. We finally made it downtown and parked a little ways from the Performing Arts Center (to avoid paying $5 for parking ;)). After all, it was a warm fall evening perfect for a little walk. We had to cross the street several times, so I was making sure my little group used all the crosswalks! :)

We thoroughly enjoyed the performances and my daughter's team won 3rd place! After snapping a couple of pictures and gathering up props, we headed toward the door. What awaited us outside the door was quite different than what was there when we went in. Blasts of cold, icy wind practically blew us back into the building. (I realize now that doesn't really make sense. The wind really tried to blow us the wrong way down the street, not back into the building.) Needless to say, our walk back to the car was a little more rushed than our previous walk. But we  were almost safely back to the car and it happened — I lost control of my group and they, we (sadly, I did it too) JAYWALKED! Ack! Fortunately, we got lucky. No tickets were written and no one was hit by a passing driver hoping to earn a few easy points.

So as I pondered my failure to post a blog on Saturday and Sunday, I recalled our little walk and my desire to keep everyone in the crosswalks. Control. Perhaps my 365 day commitment was just another way to control myself. I had broken free of my fear of typing words onto the screen without over-editing and procrastinating and worrying about what people will think, but had I exchanged that bondage for another one?

Do we use our goals, or do our goals use us?

I honestly felt just fine about missing those two days. Which is huge for me. I didn't beat myself up, not even a little and believe me, I have black-and-blued myself many, many times. It was definitely my MO for too many years. But Jesus said, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:30 KJV) He never intended for us to flagellate ourselves, on the outside or the inside. "So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed." (John 8:36 ESV) Freedom in Christ. Not free to do whatever we want without consequence, but truly free. Free to live within the "easy" bonds of love.

And I don't know about you, but I can rarely hear the words "free" or "freedom" without seeing that beautiful, awful, perfect moment when William Wallace roared "FREEEEDOOOOMMMM." Brings tears to my eyes every time.

So I missed two days. But here we are. I'm not letting that stop me.

Oh! And Sunday was a great day too! A little football, a little laundry, a lot of rest, and some good company. God is good. (Come on, say it for me....All the time.)